#BlogElul24: Hope

  Another Definition of Hope

 If I didn’t know that the roses

bloom again next spring

or that the just planted sapling

fills out and the days extend 

to include more light

If I didn’t know that the ending 

contains a beginning and everything

is a migration from the known to unknown

If I didn’t know—then doubt

might root itself and grow

#Bolg Elul 23: Begin

In the Moment

to begin this year

with a  clean slate and a gift

of a new blessing

#BlogElul 22: End

 The End is Often Sudden

I read old

postcards from places

I only knew from an atlas

Scraps of paper with lines of poetry

half digested thoughts and bits of songs

play around in my memory

Recollections of paintings 

done with a palette knife

on stretched canvases—the look of 

“abstract expressionism”

remain on an easel

After so many years I recall

three legged races

whipped jello

too many hot dogs served

on toasted buns

and fireflies caught in jars

I recall a kite flying close

to the sun when the string snapped 

and it plunged into the ocean

And then time moved beyond—

A book with chapters 

Each chapter adding a layer to the whole

Some of the role players only

live in memories

Others have moved on

and have their own books

where I may play a small role 

To begin something 

always carries the burden of an ending—

often semi- sweet, other times a relief

I

#BlogElul 21: Love

The Song of Songs Replayed

When you know your heart

and you savor the sweetness

of your lover’s face

#BlogElul 20: Fill

Soul Music

I fill myself up

with the sweet sounds of praying

and begin to sing

#BlogElul 19: Speak

Between God and Yette

God and my grandmother 

talked to one another 

She shared her life 

as if God was our neighbor

I remember one  day 

she spoke about her bunion 

and the place her shoe rubbed

her foot red raw 

She didn’t ask for any relief

or a pair of new shoes 

She spoke to God the

same way she talked

 to her friend Mrs Ruben

When the woman who lived

upstairs lost her husband 

my grandmother asked God

to keep an eye on her,

to keep her company

She understood loneliness

as a companion to the widow

When I asked her about her prayers

“ I don’t pray,” she said

“I just speak to God”

#BlogElul 18: Ask

The Response May Be Not Now

Just because you ask

Just because you want something—

even when you pray

#BlogElul 17: Awaken

To Look With New Eyes

I uncoil the past year

look beneath a litany of events—

Did any conversations

spiral beyond boundaries 

Could words be set 

in a different frame

Are there places that emerged

with edges that need refining

I need to spread them out

and smooth out the rough spots

#BlogElul 16: Pray

The Dialogue 

My friend got down on her knees

 praying to her savior for release

 She begged for liberation

 and waited for a response

I listened to her pleas—

the way she cajoled 

and bargained

until  she ran

out of words

She stood, 

held onto a chair back
and said
Dear Lord

May I live in your house

    

#BlogElul 15: Plan

Being Open to Interruption

You plan your time and

then an intruder arrives

with a  strange request

#BlogElul 14: Learn

  Attending Night School 

My grandmother Yette wrote her name

on scraps of paper and added them to

a pile of completed homework—

She practiced each letter 

as if remaining in this country 

depended on the way each

letter adhered to form

Twice a week she rode a bus

to her evening English class—

Sometimes she brought the teacher

a piece of homemade  honey cake

When she died a stack of her written name

remained on a bookshelf 

between a prayer book and a shoebox

filled with Yiddish and Polish writings

#BlogElul 13:Remember

     Conversion

I remember what I cannot say

because once said it no longer

retains that quiet whisper

It squanders questions by

remaining in my head

Once I shared a hint—not

complete but enough to give 

some light, a shadow— 

a  penumbra in waiting

I remember how I bent my will

and stepped onto a  path—

I remember step by step 

moving along, allowing myself

to enter into the shoals and eddies—

mountains and pastures

#BlogElul 12: Count

Turning

Count on days shrinking 

and darkness in ascension

Count on the cycle starting

again with “ In the beginning...”

and count on leaves tossed

about by wind and even a breeze

Count on remembering the past year—
the places that need mending, the

words left unsaid and the words said

Count on a chance to repair

places torn by words

# BlogElul 11: Trust

I Trust You to Use it Well

My mother’s philodendron lived for thirty-seven years—

twice repotted, watered frequently, and in a place filled

with light that streamed in between slotted blinds—

My mother bought the plant, a vacuum cleaner and a dining
room table after I moved into my own home

Each month she sent me money to do with as I wished

She never asked how I spent the money she sent 
when she received my father’s pension check

It never occurred to me to ask what she did without

BlogElul. 10: Forgive

Unread

To forgive requires a backward glance—

the sweeping out of corners,

flooding the past with strobe lights

and holding what is found 

until you decide to forgive

even when you know that your words,

shrugged off as unimportant

will remain unread